This recipe is dedicated to Brint, Meekus, and Rufus who tragically lost their lives in a freak gasoline fight accident while enjoying their Orange Mocha Frappuccinos.

…You do know what I’m talking about, right? Watching Zoolander (every day) was a significant part of my younger years, but if you didn’t see it (gasp!), here’s a refresher:

In addition to being really, really, really, ridiculously, good looking, this drink tastes amazing. Fresh orange with chocolate and coffee blended into a creamy smoothie. Even better, we’ll be using nothing but real foods for the base, adding a frozen banana to make it creamy, and sweetening with only dates.


Makes 1 large smoothie


  • 1 cup almond milk
  • 1 frozen banana
  • 3-4 ice cubes
  • 1 medium orange (peeled)
  • 3 medjool dates
  • 1.5 tablespoons cocoa powder
  • 1 packet Starbucks Via
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla



This one is really difficult… are you ready? Add all the ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. If the drink is too thick, add another splash of almond milk. Done! The process is that simple, but here are a few notes and clarifications:

  • If you’re not using a high-powered blender like a Vitamix, the dates may not fully puree. In that case, feel free to use a tablespoon of sweetener (maple syrup?) in place of the dates.
  • It might seem strange to use a banana in a Frappuccino, but it serves several purposes here. First, the banana adds creaminess and body that holds everything together. Second, we’re using a frozen banana which further cools the drink and gives it that milkshake consistency of Frappucinos. Finally, it adds a nice complimentary flavor to the orange and coffee without being overpowering.
  • I love using Starbucks Via. It’s Starbucks’ brand of instant coffee that works perfect to make homemade espresso drinks in seconds. Since you can add the whole packet to a drink, you can recreate the highly-concentrated taste of espresso without the expensive espresso machine. Awesome.
  • Optional: top with chocolate shavings and a dollop of my coconut whipped cream recipe.

* Each time you make this drink, I will make a small donation to the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too (the full-sized center – not the center for ants). πŸ˜€